#BABYSHIT

Today is the perfect day to be sitting at the computer with a hot cup of coffee, working on my blog. Now, if only I could convince my baby that too! Instead, I’m sitting on the couch with him on my lap watching me out of the slits of his eyes and even though my legs are killing me (leg day), I’m afraid to stop bouncing them because I know as soon as I do, those big eyes will pop open and I’ll have to start all over trying to get him to sleep. Not that I don’t love holding him, but I got to PEE!

Let me back pedal to catch everyone up on what’s been going on the last couple of weeks. To start with, breastfeeding went out the window. I tried so hard to make it happen, but just could’t make enough to satisfy this little dude. It doesn’t help that my pump broke about a week ago. He wasn’t happy, I wasn’t happy, it just wasn’t worth it anymore. Now we’ve been on straight formula for about 5 days and everything is hunky dory. Minus a little constipation, but after a good belly massage he seems to get things moving. I do have to say that formula poop is so much worse than breast milk poop. I cannot stress this enough. So. Much. Worse… The color, the texture, and smell…. oh god the smell! I mean I work for a veterinarian and I have assisted with some pretty nasty, smelly procedures and it doesn’t compare to this cute little boy’s poop. Eyes watering, gagging, trying to hold my breath and wipe his ass and close my eyes all at the same time; meanwhile, Mr. Jasper over here thinks moms putting on a pretty good show with a grin from ear to ear. You can’t be mad!

I’ve started working out again. So far, I’ve been able to get in at least 30 minutes a day, which is perfect! I got a new pair of running shoes, now if the weather would allow me to run. It better before long because we’re already signed up for some races! I love to run! Also, after 3 years of marriage, I’ve finally decided to start training Jiu Jitsu with my husband. Mainly for when I tell him am going to kick his ass and his response is too bad you can’t; he’s not wrong right now but maybe after some training (still doubt it). I will tell you it’s not going to be easy having to listen to my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I know he knows what he’s doing (he’s been training for over 10 years) but this is the same man who can’t find his pants in his dresser or his wallet when I tell him EXACTLY where it’s at; how am I supposed to take him serious?! I’m also not the type of person to “leave it on the mat”. If he makes me mad or gets a little too rough, he better not come home expecting a hot meal and a night of romance.

So, I have to add in this story from today. This is kind of going back to the formula poop. Pake is in the bedroom changing Jasper and he yells that he needs help (kind of frantically) so I come to the rescue. There’s poop everywhere… I’m holding up the legs and Pake is wiping. Every time he wipes, he’s getting poop on my hands!! I’m yelling but don’t dare drop the baby legs because the poop will really get everywhere. He is literally just smearing poop on the baby’s butt and legs, on my hands, and using an insane amount of baby wipes to do so! And of course, Jasper just thinks it’s great. How does this man survive the 5 hours a day I’m at work Tuesday and Thursday?!

If you can’t tell, it’s now taking me multiple days to get a blog entry wrote; a little here, a little there. There are just not enough hours in the day.

Two of my best friends came over to visit the other day. We have been friends ever since I can remember. They were out here on the farm all the time growing up. We are now all married with kids…. CRAZY! I still don’t’ feel old enough or mature enough to have a baby; like an actual human being that I am responsible for keeping alive. Both their kids are older than Jasper, so I get to hear about a lot of things to look forward to. I’m so excited…can’t you tell… It is really nice to be able to talk to moms though and know that you’re not alone because being a mom is hard, the hardest job I’ve ever had. That is no lie! So, when he’s losing his mind because the bottle’s not warm yet and I’m dancing around the room with him, singing nonsense to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star (It works). I’m not the only weird one.

Here’s to the almost end of February and hoping spring is near!

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Jan. 11th, 12th, 13th, 2019

Since our weekend was anything but extraordinary, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are getting lumped together in one entry.

We’ll start with Friday.

What a blah rainy day. After getting Pake’s brochures and business cards finalized and ordered, we took today to just hang out as a family. Pake has drill this weekend (army reserve), so it’ll just be Jasper and I (plus our 47 animals) holding down the fort. Since Pake has to get up early, the boys turned in early which gave me a chance to start my new book! Way out of my normal reading genre, but after reading book 1 I had to get book 2. The first book is called Year One by Nora Roberts; one of my favorite authors, the second is Of Blood and Bone. So, if you’re looking for that next good book, I recommend these!

Saturday

Pake left at about 4 this morning, so I had plans to get up early, take a shower and do a few other things before Jasper woke up. So, there I am, 6 in the morning, already feeling productive, making my coffee, and then I hear it…the baby. At first, I was like no biggie, I’ll feed him, and he’ll go right back to bed. Nope! The baby had other plans! For the entire day, I couldn’t put him down for more than 15 minutes without him completely losing his mind. Even putting him down to go to the bathroom was an unacceptable act in his eyes. Needless to say, the only thing I got accomplished was Netflix and chilling with my baby. He finally allowed me to put him down in his bassinet at about midnight. At this point, I didn’t care what time it was, I needed some “me time” before going to sleep as well. So, I took a nice long, hot shower AND painted my toenails before calling it a night at around 1 am. Some kind of day…

Sunday

Due to our late night, both Jasper and I slept in this morning. It was a much better day then the day before and way more productive! I finally finished painting the last wall in the kitchen and sort of got that room back in order. I got some much-needed deep cleaning done along with a ridiculous amount of laundry. Pake made it home around 5, we had dinner, put the baby to sleep and now watching The Mummy. Life is good.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Pretty much a recap of our weekend.
Pake, Petey, and Renzo

Thursday, Jan. 10th, 2019

Our day started with a trip to Wichita to get Jasper enrolled under Pake’s insurance. The trip was quick, but the wait time at the office was looong. We finally got back home around 3. On the way home, I got about an hour-long nap. It wasn’t one of those naps you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to conquer the world; oh no, this was one of those naps where you wake up wondering if you actually slept or just spaced out and you feel 10 times more tired than you did before your nap. So promptly after arriving home, Jasper and I took a nap to get over our car nap. Not a lot was accomplished today.

Let’s meet the rest of the gang! We’ll start with Rooster and Dobby.

We found rooster down at my mom’s house fending off one of her dogs. He wasn’t much more than a hand full but was full of attitude. He’d be about a year and a half now and weighs over 10 pounds. I don’t know how he’s so fat. He’s really more like a dog then a cat. Every morning he waits to be let outside (he doesn’t like the litterbox), and he’ll stay out until we call for him in the evening. Awhile back he came home with what looked like talon marks on his back and all we can guess is an owl or a hawk tried to carry him off. Luckily his chubby butt was too heavy to be carried very far! Even though he’s a pretty cool cat, he still has his annoying cat habits; like jumping on the counters when he thinks no one is watching or clawing the couch. The good outweigh the bad in his case.

Dobby, on the other hand, is a menace. Pake found dobby last summer, he was very little and almost dead, but don’t worry we saved him. I truly believe this cat has some sort of brain damage. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box. He’s Pake’s cat 100% and his goal in life is to annoy the crap out of me–he does it well. Now I love all animals, but he pushes the boundaries. He gets in to the trash and terrorizes the dogs because he knows they won’t retaliate, but if they do start getting to rough with him instead of just running away, he starts making this awful noise that sounds like he’s dying. Every morning he hides in the house, so he doesn’t have to go outside. I secretly think you wants to be an outside cat, but Pake makes sure he comes inside every night. Sorry I kind of got off on a rant. He’s an ok cat…sometimes.

To end the introductions, we have Elmer, Chubbles, Maui, and Nobody– the rest of the pot belly pig clan. (There’s also sugar and star, our two horses, but there more pasture ornaments at the moment.)

Elmer wondering why I’m not scratching his belly, 2018

So long story short, we took in Elmer and Nala (Nala is no longer with us), Napoleon’s parents, after their owner had to move and couldn’t take them with her. I mean what’s two more pigs, right? He wasn’t very friendly at first and honestly, I was concerned having a boar on the place. I even went as far as telling Pake if he ever got aggressive with us, we’d have to put him down. However, he turned in to the most chill pig we have! He now loves to have his belly scratched and has better manners then Napoleon. I am worried he’s going through an identity crisis at the moment though. He spends all his time out in the wheat feed with the cattle. I think they’ve excepted him as their own. He’s going to be heart broken when they leave. Hopefully he’ll convert back to his pig ways…

Left to Right: Chubbles, Maui, and Nobody, 2017

Now the other 3 came to be when we found out Nala was pregnant… She had a total of 7 babies, that’s right, 7 pig babies. This brought our total up to 10 pot belly pigs. We officially crossed over from being semi classy folks to being backwoods hicks with pigs sleeping under our porch. We were able to find homes for 4 of the babies, but the last 3 still remain. They’re more wild pigs that just happen to call here home and eat the food we put out. Other than that, they merely tolerate our present.

A funny little side note, every evening I holler “here kitty, kitty” to get Rooster to come in and all 5 pigs come running. I guess they think I’m yelling “here piggy, piggy”. I’m sure they’re disappointed every time I don’t have food for them. Poor piggies.